I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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