I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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