so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
