Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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