its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize