i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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