Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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