I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Bring me that man meat
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
