I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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