the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
