omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
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not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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