y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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