she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
