The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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