Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
