i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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