Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
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A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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