We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
