In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
