we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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