I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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