dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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