Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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