my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
