Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
