We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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