Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
