Can Purell be used as lube?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
