Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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