I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
