My liver just broke up with me...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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