One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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