just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Never underestimate the power of titties
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