The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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