Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Randomize