she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
