forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
