my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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