So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
