i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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