Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
