also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
