dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
