thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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