I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
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That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
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My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited