Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank