In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We're too hungover to prance.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
