Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
