So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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