It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
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I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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