We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
