Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
