Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
