Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
