YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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