I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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