There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
