She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
