before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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