so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Come see our sink grown plant.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
