yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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