Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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