Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
