I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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