STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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