Cold hands, warm shart.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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